hutch off the cuff

Night

As I sit monitoring my students as they take their first exam of the year, I find myself rather bored and longing for something to occupy my ever lengthening time.  As I was sitting here, I starting reflecting on the "reading" I've been doing on my drives to and from work.  I finished Julie Andrews, listened patiently through Ellen Degeneres (don't go there—I think she's really only funny as Dory) and then moved into something a little more serious—Elie Wiesel.

For those who are unfamiliar, Wiesel, who is still alive, survived the concentration camps at Auschwitz, Buna, and Birkenau, was liberated by the American Army in 1945, and wrote about his experiences in a 900 page volume that was published only in abridgment in Buenos Aires.  He later revised it into just under 130 pages, translated it into French and it was published as La Nuit.  The English version, Night, is one of the most telling, honest, painful reads I have ever experienced.  In the many days it took to finish the book, not once did I listen and not shed tears for terror men inflicted upon other men.  Sometimes the tears were silent and steady, and at other times the consumed my being as I sobbed for the pain of a nation.

I would continue my description, but my words are nothing compared to his, and I would feel inadequate in attempting to recreate them.  Go read the book.  It's not long, but it may just change your life.

The dirty details . . .

I spent the better part of the morning today getting the grit on this new position that has brought more than four (virtual) backflips in the past day of my life.  It's a pretty hefty thing I've taken on, and the post was not left in the best place by my predecessor, which makes the next six weeks even more exciting.  I'll be teaching two sections of a General Ed music appreciation course, conducting three choirs, and teaching private piano and voice lessons.  In the spring I'll also be teaching a Music history and literature course and likely collaborating on a musical.  Woohoo!  So what comes next?  Here's a fun little run down:

• Order textbooks.  I think the one they've been using is adequate, and the school already has a small stock of them, so it'll be simpler for the time being.
• Plan out a semester of instruction using said book.  The fun part is that while I have two identical sections, I teach one three times a week and another only twice, but for longer each time.  So, one goal, but two ways of getting there—I don't think they should make me do that my first semester, but I'm a trooper!
• Order and receive keys to the music library so I can: 
• Choose repertoire for three choirs.  This is where things might get a little sticky.  As they currently stand, the choirs have become very pigeonholed as to repertoire and function.  I'm looking to break that open a little, expand the choices, the experiences, and the musical life of every single one.  I foresee major resistance and eventual begrudged compliance and bliss.  They're going to like it, I say!
• Study and prepare said rep.  yikes. You always have know everything.  It's tough, but someone's got to do it!
• Prepare syllabi and course calendars.  Schedule concerts. 
• Obtain lists from enrollment services of incoming students interested in music. 
• Contact those students and make them participate. 

That's just for starters, and just the beginning of things I'll be doing before everyone heads back to campus.  Don't even ask about auditions, organization, music distribution, formal planning . . .

In other news, we found a house and sent in our application.  We're still steady renters, very afraid to dive into the housing market with the current situation and our year to year employment.  It's best to stay renters for a while.  The best part of this house is that it's amazing.  Or maybe it's that it's available the very day we're out of our house here.  Maybe it's beautiful, bright, newer, alive, and welcoming.  Maybe it just felt like a place we could love.  Who knows.  It's great, and we're excited to write that ENORMOUS check tomorrow and start switching over our utilities.  Yippee.

I needed this today.

We read this as a family this morning. Awesome, and a spiritually and emotionally filling passage—just what I need with my impatient waiting.

waiting.

waiting.

D & C 128:22

There's a lot of good stuff there, but I really like that verse.  Happy day.

Still Waiting

I learned today that the search committee for the position to which I'm aspiring is deadlocked—3 votes for each of 2 candidates.  Well, at least they were Tuesday night, which means Thursday would be fast for a job offer.  It's a good thing I have sources for such information, or might just feel crazy.

There were three candidates, and assuming/hoping that I'm one of the two, I have mixed feelings about this revelation:

1. I didn't win them over entirely.  That's a disappointment, but quite frankly, it's not that important to me if my supporters can win the battle.
2. Its possible that the other candidate has a PhD, and I merely a MM.  The fact that I'm still competitive in the position is good news, although it's also possible that it's between an MM and an MM, in which case I'm friends with the other, and I'd be happy for either of us.  It wouldn't be so bad at all.
3. It's going to be one  l o n g  weekend, and then the crazy run to the phone thing will start all over again. I'm not sure I can handle that for much longer!
4. Strangely, I'm confident that everything will work out regardless of the outcome of this particular position, although I really want this one.  Really. 

There you have it.  Any prayers/thoughts/splendid vibes can be forwarded directly to the search committee.  Sway the vote, folks! 

Day 2 of . . .

NOTHING.

Nothing at all going on here.  Gratefully, it's the first such occasion since graduation since I really wondered what I was going to do all day.  First it was the trip to Utah, then the journey to Arkansas, then prep for Houston, then Houston, then coming home from Houston, then interview prep, then going to Houston again, then interview, and now that it's all over, I feel a little aimless.  I should hear about the job within the week, and once that's going, I'll be busier than, well, busier than I am now, and that will be a welcome change for sure.

It's interesting what you learn about yourself when you have nothing to do.  I learned that I haven't read a book for leisure for almost a year.  I'm due for another one, so I went to the bookshelf to pick out a treasure, but was quickly and rudely reminded that all of our books have been packed already.  I thought maybe I'd play and sing for a bit—just fun stuff, not the arias and art songs I've been preparing for a year.  I reached for the music books, but (you guessed it!) they're books and have suffered the fate of all other books in my house.  I considered doing some packing to get ahead and be ready for our eventual move to a yet undiscovered and therefore undisclosed location, but it turns out that Liz has already packed too much!  My second day home from Houston I was preparing dinner and found, to my great displeasure, that all of the herbs and spices had already been packed.  Maybe I'm the crazy face here, but who packs the spices before the last minute?  People who like bland food, that's who!  They've since been unearthed and restored to their proper location.  Funny stuff, really.

So here I sit, blogging to fill time and keep my mind occupied.  I think the next logical step is to keep my body occupied—exercise today, methinks.  We'll see if that really happens or if I'm just too bored to have the drive to do anything at all.  It's amazing how having nothing to do diminishes your desire to do.  Ah, summer . . .

Interview Day from the other end

It's all over.  From here out I wait and trust that the right things will happen.  For several weeks I was rather haphazard in my feelings about this position—no big deal, applied on a whim, and pursued other endeavors.  As I invested myself in preparing for it, however, I found that this really is something I want.  ant to stay here in Missouri, I want to teach in a college setting rather than in the public schools, and I want to do it at this school.  The interview went well, my presentation was solid and received excellent feedback, and in the end I felt like my professional desires and the goals of the college are well-aligned and that I'm still the ideal candidate for this position.  I can only hope they agree.  Enough about the things I can't control.  What could I control?  My wardrobe, of course!  Here's just a little sample.

Interview Day

It's been a long time since I've had to interview in person for something.  Over two years, in fact, and I'm a little nervous.  However, I look good, I've prepared well, and I'm ready to go in and show them what I've got.  Six hours of interview—does anyone besides academia go through a single interview of such amazing length?  Meet with the committee, teach in a classroom, meet with the President, meet with the Dean, eat lunch, tour campus, go all out for more than six hours straight.  Awesome.  If you get a chance, say a little prayer for me!

Morning Run

After two years in Columbia and falsely moving once already, I finally resolved to make better use of the extensive trails that wind, well-maintained, through our beautiful city.  This morning I jumped out of bed early, convinced Jacob to stay upstairs with mom, a task considering he'd been trying to get me out of bed since 5:45, and took off for a run along the Bear Creek Trail in the northern regions of the city.  I chose the trail carefully because as a runner I'm in an awkward place.  You see, the short trails, all 1-2 miles are too short, and simply despise having to do laps, regardless of the size.  Once I've seen a site, it's nigh impossible to convince me to go around to see it again.  On the flip side, however, the longer trails are not loops, but connect one area of the city to another, or bridge the gap between parks, or are now long trails made of several, previously separate trails.

Bear Creek Trail one such longer trail, coming in at 4.8 miles total length, and connecting our favorite park on the East side of town with our tennis park in north central town.  I decided that I would park at one end, and run/walk for half the time I'd allotted, then turn around and go back.  It's one thing to have to run the same thing twice, but quite another to know you can't get home unless you go back the way you came.  So, in the spirit of adventure, I laced up my new Asics (one of the best purchases of my life) and took off along the firmly laid gravel trail.

The first thing I noticed is that it was cold—57º when I left the house this morning, and the normally welcome, rich shade of the overhead canopy did little to warm up my hesitant body.  The morning was fresh and dewy, and I was the only on the trail for at least a mile and a half.  I only know that figure because there are mile markers along the way; mile markers for which I was very grateful as I gauged my progress against what I presumed to be my abilities.  As I listened to Prince Caspian read thoughtfully and quite brilliantly by Lynn Redgrave (C.S. Lewis has become my welcome running partner—next is The Voyage of the Dawn Treader!) I marveled at the stillness of the morning and my presence, although along an established path, seemed an intrusion on the solitude of nature herself.  I took in the lush greens of the foliage, the clear water in the Creek along the trail, and the occasional morning web, not yet destroyed by the breezes of midday.  I reveled in the freshness of the dew as it tickled my nostrils and the frequent and surprisingly strong scent of cinnamon as I rushed along the path.

I didn't run the entire path and back, but did run the hour I had set as my goal.  By the end of next month I'd like to be able to take the whole trail up and back in a single event.  Today was 4.25 miles in just under 60 minutes.  I could have done it in 52 or so, but I took a nice relaxing cool down on the final half mile or so.  I had rushed enough, so it was time for me to take a little time to enjoy the journey a bit and let my muscles work in a different way.  I'll be back again tomorrow, and I hope to enjoy every minute as I once again bask in the glory of nature and prepare to set Caspian upon the Narnian throne.

A new look for a new direction

If you refresh your browser, you'll see that Houston is no longer gracing the head of this blog.  In fact, I'd say this new look has kind of a simplified reconstruction vibe, and that is exactly where my life sits right now.  There is a story to explain that, and it is here for those that care to click over and read the saga.  Suffice it to say here that I'm home, I'm happy, and we're moving forward in a big way.  Life is good.  I'm hoping that means I'll be blogging more regularly!

Feeling Better

I’m better in control today, and much better regulated. Sudafed seems to be keeping the pain out of my sinuses, although there are simply ghastly things still being expelled from my face. Enough of the yuck. Last night I enjoyed a great evening walk while I listened to C.S. Lewis and enjoyed a nice path along the Bayou here by the University. Note to self: even if it’s a casual walk, don’t wear jeans—it’s just too freakin’ hot. I’ll try it again tonight in my exercise attire see if it works out a little more . . . comfortably. In general I’ve already had a hard time staying invested in the work I’m doing this summer. While I do appreciate and understand the things being taught and the applications for future use, I’m using them this summer in a math classroom rather than my music classroom. While I will, no doubt, use many of these ideas, mindsets, and skills in the future, it’s discouraging to not have the immediate opportunity to use them as I will in the fall. The mandate to teach in one kind of environment here prevents me from preparing myself mentally for the upcoming school year. I am, however, excited to enter the classroom and start teaching—whatever it is, I do love teaching.

I think a teacher has to be just that—a teacher—before they can be anything else. Me? I’m a musician and a teacher, and it is this combination that makes me who I am professionally, and even personally in many ways. Without one of those components, I could not do what I do. If I weren’t a teacher, I’d have to be just a musician, and without a strong sense of musicianship and musical scholarship, I would have to teach something else. I wish that there was a way to impart this more clearly to aspiring teachers. Maybe one day I’ll find a way to explain that it’s not enough to love your subject or to love teaching. You must, simply must be proficient in and love both areas to really invest yourself in and effect learning for your students. 

And now I descend gracefully from my soapbox and feel a small bead of sweat trickle down my back. Isn’t this bus air conditioned?