I arose at 3:30 sharp this morning, determined not to start the day behind the careful schedule I planned. Google maps indicated a 13.5 hour journey, and I figured I could do it in about 12. With time for fuel, bathroom, and food, I figured 13 tops. So I set out in my sad little car that howls like the wind, and turn my headlights toward Houston. The drive was uneventful, smooth, and I made it in 12 hours, 50 minutes. A victory if I do say so myself! The best part of my journey was the road signs, which I carefully noted and now have to share with you. It's a shame I was in such a hurry, for there seemed a great many thing to do between Missouri and the Gulf of Mexico, but time pressed upon me, and I made haste. Some gems of wisdom from the highways and byways of Oklahoma and Texas:
Jenks, America: Antique Capital of Oklahoma
My questions is whether Antique is a noun or an adjective. I later drove through the city, but didn't get my question answered. I remain justifiably curious.
No Tolerance
In reference to posted and consistently violated speed limits. I thought we preached tolerance?
Drive Friendly
As opposed to drive bitterly and with disdain for your fellow beings?
Keep Our Land Grand
I hope Rodgers and Hammerstein are receiving royalties for these severally posted Oklahoma signs.
Hitchhikers may be escaping inmates
That's good to know.
Bridge Ices Before Road
Now, I know these are everywhere, but I thought we had fairly well ingrained that principle in middle school physical science. Maybe not.
Don't Mess with Texas
There's really nothing significant about this sign except that it was my first that was actually about litter instead of the nationalism that is Texas pride. Interesting note: while Texas speeding fines are among the lowest in the nation (really, everywhere is far away here, so you might as well go fast,) the fine for highway littering is $2000. Yup.
Throckmorton Road
Only JP and maybe Sarah will smile at that. It just conjured memories of a fun class and an obscene story.
Now, this last one is a mystery, and therefore I have saved it for your consideration and seek your wisdom. At least four dozen of these beauties littered the roads of Oklahoma armadillo carcasses in the spring, which, coincidentally, I also partook of in spades. The message?
DO NOT DRIVE INTO SMOKE
Um, what smoke? With that many signs, one feels a bit let down at not seeing the smoke. Really.
